Thursday 19 December 2013

The Night Before Christmas in Australia

I have had enough of the whole idea of a white Christmas. Forgive me America but we all do not live in a land where snow on Christmas day is normal (although in Melbourne, hail never goes amiss). So maybe, just once, could we present Christmas from a different perspective? Could we drop the snow and turn on the heat? We do not all live in America and so a little change from the quintessential Disney Christmas Movies like "Frozen" would be nice. No more, I say, no more. I believe it is time for Christmas in Australia so settle back and enjoy as we melt the snow, turn on the heat and add some random weather patterns in there to get into the Melbourne Christmas.


The Night Before Christmas (in Australia)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was sleeping, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the air-con with care;
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were sweating, all hot in their beds,
While visions of ice-cubes danced in their heads;
And mamma in her clogs, and I in my thongs,
Had just settled down for a sweaty sing-along,
When out by the pool there arose such a clatter,
I quickly stopped singing to see what was the matter,
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer,
With a sweaty old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than Melbourne Weather his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Oi, Dasher! Oi, Dancer! Oi, Prancer and Vixen!,
On Comet! On Cupid! On, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
As hot flames that before the bush-fires fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the air-vent St Nicholas came with a bound,
He was dressed for the beach, from his head to his foot,
But his boardies were still wet from sweat and mildew;
A bundle of fans he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a mechanic just opening his pack
His eyes -- how they twinkled! His brow so sweaty!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up something nice,
And the beard of his chin as white as the ice,
The stump of an ice cube held tight in his teeth,
And the water it pooled around his gums like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon have me to know I had nothing to dread
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a node, up the air vent he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

That was The Night Before Christmas as set in Australia. Over the coming days before Christmas where there are no scheduled posts I will do more of these to show to you that not all of us live in a "Winter Wonderland".

Only 6 more sleeps until Christmas! See you tomorrow.

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